Why was this a big deal? Well, buckle up, because it’s been a journey.
A Year of Church Drama
Back in 2023, my church split. Not in a “let’s amicably part ways” kind of split, but the painful kind, with leadership disputes and theological shifts. I stuck around for a year, hoping for resolution. But when it became clear there’d be no elders appointed, and the leadership steered the church in a direction I couldn’t follow, I made the tough decision to leave.
Let me tell you, it hurt. First, the split, and then realizing I didn’t belong anymore. It was like losing family twice. I resolved to give myself space to heal—no rushing into a new church. Maybe by summer, I thought.
Spoiler alert: summer came and went, and I still hadn’t found a new church. I’d visited a few places, like the local Messianic congregation. It was lovely until they started dancing and suggested we Gentile believers were part of Israel’s lost tribes. That was my cue to exit.
Next stop: a Free Evangelical Church. It started promisingly, with a prayer for unity. But then came the reason for the prayer—group cliques and division. Post-split trauma déjà vu. To top it off, the pastor dramatically lay on the ground during the sermon to demonstrate worship. I don’t remember his message, just the awkward question in my head: “How is this guy getting back up?”
Back in 2023, my church split. Not in a “let’s amicably part ways” kind of split, but the painful kind, with leadership disputes and theological shifts. I stuck around for a year, hoping for resolution. But when it became clear there’d be no elders appointed, and the leadership steered the church in a direction I couldn’t follow, I made the tough decision to leave.
Let me tell you, it hurt. First, the split, and then realizing I didn’t belong anymore. It was like losing family twice. I resolved to give myself space to heal—no rushing into a new church. Maybe by summer, I thought.
Spoiler alert: summer came and went, and I still hadn’t found a new church. I’d visited a few places, like the local Messianic congregation. It was lovely until they started dancing and suggested we Gentile believers were part of Israel’s lost tribes. That was my cue to exit.
Next stop: a Free Evangelical Church. It started promisingly, with a prayer for unity. But then came the reason for the prayer—group cliques and division. Post-split trauma déjà vu. To top it off, the pastor dramatically lay on the ground during the sermon to demonstrate worship. I don’t remember his message, just the awkward question in my head: “How is this guy getting back up?”
The Morning That Almost Didn't Happen
After all that, I stayed home for weeks. But today, I was determined. Even though I overslept, I pushed through. I dressed, scraped the frost off my car, and headed to the next church on my list. With low expectations, I walked in.
And it was like stepping into an oasis.
After all that, I stayed home for weeks. But today, I was determined. Even though I overslept, I pushed through. I dressed, scraped the frost off my car, and headed to the next church on my list. With low expectations, I walked in.
And it was like stepping into an oasis.
A Church That Felt Like Home
The meeting room in the community center was full—simple but buzzing with life—100 to 150 people, all generations present. I slipped into a seat near the back, observing. I saw women with head coverings and others without—just like me. There was such variety in clothing styles, plenty of kids running around... A man, who turned out to be an elder, began to explain Matthew 16:13 with clarity and depth. This church didn’t stream services online, so I scribbled notes furiously, savoring every word.
And then came the highlight: communion.
This was what I’d been craving—a clear, heartfelt explanation of Scripture and the chance to celebrate the Lord’s Supper together. Before communion, the elder read passages from Ephesians 1 and 2. Would you believe it? I’ve been studying those very chapters recently. It felt like God had aligned everything perfectly.
The sermon, titled "Who Do You Say I Am?", swept away my doubts. I reaffirmed my faith in Jesus, and for the first time in ages, everything felt right. No fear, no anxiety—just peace.
A New Beginning
After the service, there was coffee. I mingled and discovered a few familiar faces—others from my previous church who had found their way here before me. It felt like confirmation that this might be a place to settle.
Here’s my notebook with sermon notes. I scribbled them quickly, so it’s a bit messy!
After the service, there was coffee. I mingled and discovered a few familiar faces—others from my previous church who had found their way here before me. It felt like confirmation that this might be a place to settle.
Here’s my notebook with sermon notes. I scribbled them quickly, so it’s a bit messy!
Now, It is evening and I’am sitting in my chair. It is dark outside. But inside, it’s anything but dark. I feel joy, peace, and gratitude.
Looking Ahead
After a year of wandering, I think I’ve found a church where I can let my little light shine. I’ll keep attending for a few months, praying and discerning. Who knows? Maybe this is the place where I can truly belong again.
One thing’s for sure: I’m thankful for today. For a God who never lets go and for a church that feels like hope
After a year of wandering, I think I’ve found a church where I can let my little light shine. I’ll keep attending for a few months, praying and discerning. Who knows? Maybe this is the place where I can truly belong again.
One thing’s for sure: I’m thankful for today. For a God who never lets go and for a church that feels like hope
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