Some days, it feels like I'm drowning in suffering. Other times, I can handle it better. But nights are the worst. I try not to dwell on it too much, but often it overwhelms me, especially at night, when everything is quiet and I'm alone with my thoughts. I find it so hard to keep my mind from wandering!
The Heartache of LossLosing a child is incredibly hard. Witnessing my sister go through it, I realize the depth of devastation it brings. It's as though a piece of your heart is torn away, and life loses its familiar rhythm.
But...
A Different Kind of Loss
But... what if the loss extends beyond just one individual? What if it means losing the embrace of the next generation? Yes, my daughter has chosen to cut ties with us, and it's a pain that cuts deep. I miss her, I miss my grandchildren, and this is a piece of suffering that I silently carry with me.
Finding Solace in GodYet, even amidst the darkness, there's a glimmer of solace. Sometimes, when sleep evades me,I reach for the lamp on my bedside table – let there be light – and open my Bible. Psalm 27 speaks to me:
"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
Embracing Divine ComfortI continue reading until I reach the verse that says:
"Though my father and my mother daughter abandoned me, the Lord gathers me up."
Tears flow freely as I absorb the words. Despite the immense loss, I find comfort in the assurance that God's love transcends human understanding.
A Prayer for GuidanceAfter reading, I close my Bible, turn of the lamp, and whisper:
"Do not hide Your face from me; You have been my help. Do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation! Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path."