Some days, it feels like I'm drowning in suffering. Other times, I can handle it better. But nights are the worst. I try not to dwell on it too much, but often it overwhelms me, especially at night, when everything is quiet and I'm alone with my thoughts. I find it so hard to keep my mind from wandering!
The Heartache of LossLosing a child is incredibly hard. Witnessing my sister go through it, I realize the depth of devastation it brings. It's as though a piece of your heart is torn away, and life loses its familiar rhythm.
But...
A Different Kind of Loss
But... what if the loss extends beyond just one individual? What if it means losing the embrace of the next generation? Yes, my daughter has chosen to cut ties with us, and it's a pain that cuts deep. I miss her, I miss my grandchildren, and this is a piece of suffering that I silently carry with me.
Yet, even amidst the darkness, there's a glimmer of solace. Sometimes, when sleep evades me,I reach for the lamp on my bedside table – let there be light – and open my Bible. Psalm 27 speaks to me:
"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
I continue reading until I reach the verse that says:
"Though my father and my motherdaughter abandoned me, the Lord gathers me up."
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After reading, I close my Bible, turn of the lamp, and whisper:
"Do not hide Your face from me; You have been my help. Do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation! Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path."
Joining in for Five Minute Friday today.
My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteA child has wandered far away,
has cut the ties that bind.
There is nothing left to say,
nor see, for I've gone blind
to the beauties of the dawn,
the starry skies by night.
All hope seems now stale and gone,
but Lo! there is a light
borne across the shadow-valley,
borne that dark may lift, and flee,
borne to make a dead heart rally,
borne right up the path to me,
and in that light I see His face
and feel His tears in His embrace.
Thank you so much Andrew
DeleteI understand that pain. I pray God shows you a glimmer of why He has allowed that pain in your life. I pray that God would lessen that pain and cause it to remind you of His perfect peace. I pray God showers mercy and peace and reunites family in His perfect timing. Blessings on your day! (FMF#7)
ReplyDeleteWat een intens verdriet!! Hoe graag ik ook woorden van troost zou willen schrijven, ik vind ze niet! Ik zal bidden dat jullie harten en levens weer bij elkaar zullen komen!
ReplyDeleteOh Aritha, this makes my heart so sad for you. I pray that God would soften your daughter's heart, and that in His perfect timing, He would heal and restore your relationship.
ReplyDeletei'm sorry that family has pushed you away. that's a hard position to be in. Loving from a distance. FMF13
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord continue to strength and comfort you until all things are restored in Him.
ReplyDelete